Fact of the Day 27

I have Trichotillomania.

"Trichotillomania (TTM), or "trich" as it is commonly known, is an impulse control disorder characterized by the repeated urge to pull out scalp hair, eyelashes, facial hair, nose hair, pubic hair, eyebrows or other body hair, sometimes resulting in noticeable bald patches. "

It might be hard to understand why someone would pull their own hair or eyelashes out — or why they wouldn't just stop. But trichotillomania isn't just an ordinary habit that a person can easily stop. It's a medical condition. I can remember as early as Middle School people asking why I have bald spots on my head. I used to make up stupid stories to cover for it. I think that's one of the reasons I started wearing baseball caps so much. Not only did it cover the "evidence" but it kept me from pulling. I've tried MANY times to stop pulling, but it's beyond just a simple thought. I do it when I don't even realize I do it, until someone says something. I've tried medication for my anxiety. I've tried always keeping something in my hands, especially while reading or watching TV... and yet the "urge" to pull is still there.

I HATE going to the beauty salon. I am ALWAYS asked if I know my hair is thinning. One lady was so rude about it, she told me she "couldn't do anything with my hair like that."

Yes, I want to quit. Yes, I hate seeing all the hair on the floor when I clean. Yes, I know it sounds stupid. It's like asking a smoker to quit cold turkey. It's literally something I can't control. I've gotten better at it. I don't have bald spots anymore, but the hair on the top of my head is always shorter than anywhere else, and it never grows out. I've even thought about shaving my head and wearing wigs. I figure I can't pull what's not there! Wonder how I will look bald?!?!