I'm exhausted...

...and I'm not ashamed to admit it! Sure, after my first, second and even third child, I tried to be "SuperMom" and not admit I was tired, needed help, or was overwhelmed. This time, however, I'M TIRED!!!! I don't know how those mothers of twins and more do it. I'm struggling with just one! He's waking up every 2 hours or less at night and during the day he won't sleep but maybe 30 minutes at a time. I don't know if it's the other kids that are making me more tired, but I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted.
Between Brodie who hasn't been sleeping through the night due to a cough, Randy who doesn't fall asleep till after 11pm most nights due to his meds and Colt who just doesn't stay asleep, I'm drained. Riley is my "perfect child" in this senario... he goes to sleep at bedtime and sleeps till I wake him up in the morning. Even though he's so like his Mother and is NOT a morning person!
It's been nice having Jason home for the last 2 weeks, but sometimes it's more work when he's home than when he's gone! Now I have 5 kids to keep up with, fix meals for and clean up after. I'm kinda looking forward to just being Brodie, Colt and myself this next week. Luckily, we don't have many appointments, so that's a good thing. Only one for Brodie's cough and one for a trip to the dentist for me, it's a slow week. Not sure I'll catch up on sleep since Brodie doesn't nap, but at least I won't have to entertain all the kids.
I have to say though.... nighttime feedings with Colt are part of my favorite time! I love when he is awake at 2am, honestly. As tired as I may be, I love it. It feels like it's just the 2 of us against the world. I have him all to myself and I get all of his attention. Those quiet moments are what I live for these days. I know all too soon they will be gone and he will be an independent tyke who won't want to cuddle with me! It's so final now, him being my last one, it's finally starting to hit me. I'm trying to enjoy every single day, every bath (which he HATES so far!), every sound, every time he's peacefully asleep. I know the time will fly, and I'm trying to file it all away. I don't take enough pictures, so I'm trying to get better at that!
I'm also not ashamed to admit that I miss my Mommy!!! I love the relationship we have and wouldn't change it for the world. (Except, I would change how far away we are from each other this time!!!) It was so comforting having her here for those 10 days, I dreaded the day she left, knowing I would be on my own again. I am so thankful for the relationship we have maintained over the years, even though I know I have tried her many time and given her many grey hairs, but I appreciate her more each day. If you have a relationship like that, you understand what I mean. It's something hard to explain, and my words would NEVER do it justice. I just hope that Brodie and I have that relationship when she gets older. My mom is by far my "best friend" but I didn't appreciate it truly until I became a mother. Now I SO understand the terms, "wait till you have children!" and "you won't appreciate this till you're older." So, Mommy, if you are reading this, THANK YOU!!!